One Commitment Isn’t Enough…

A couple of nights ago, I was surfing channels on TV when I stumbled across the movie Eat Pray Love, which I had seen in theaters not too long after it was released. For those who aren’t aware, the movie (based off of the book) is about a middle-aged woman who abandons her unsatisfying life in order to find happiness and enhance her spirituality by visiting three countries: Italy, India, and Bali. I saw the movie before purchasing the book (which remains unfinished). Anyway, when I flipped to the movie, I was immediately entranced as I revisited one of my favorite parts, which is when she first begins her journey in Italy.

This first part of the trinity is all about indulgence. Julia Roberts’ character takes great pleasure in learning the Italian language as well as devouring their famous delicacies, such as pizza margherita and gelato. Along with all of this pleasure-seeking, a bit of introspection is revealed. There is a scene where she is having dinner with her Italian tutor and other friends. They start discussing how places can be summed up in one word (for example, London = stuffy and Rome = sex), which transitions into a discussion about describing themselves in one word. After the main character haphazardly chooses words that represent codependency (daughter, wife, girlfriend), she settles for the word “writer.” She receives the response of that word only signifying her profession. She then concludes that maybe she is searching for her word, which she ends up finding later in the film.

Why the sudden analysis? Well this part spoke to me. We can all relate to this concept of discovering who we are as individuals. The fact that Julia Roberts’ character could not find her word just yet is a struggle that all of us go through. It’s interesting that she dismisses her roles as a daughter, wife, and girlfriend because those demonstrations of love didn’t describe the whole of her being. Now I am definitely the “all you need is love” advocate. I’ve elaborated so many instances of why I love and how I love in the majority of this blog. Although it has become a huge part of my life, there is more to my existence.

What do I do when one commitment isn’t enough? And I have recently started to feel that way. I want more titles to describe myself. When I can’t see my girlfriend (which is a great majority of the time), I feel like I should be doing more. I have all this time to go out and enjoy myself and explore new opportunities, but I usually end up staying home for various reasons.

Today I woke up with the hunger to do more. If I am unable to get a job at the moment, I should spend my free time doing other things that are just as important. I went online and filled out a volunteer application at the local AIDS care/LGBT center and I could barely contain my excitement. I don’t know why I didn’t do this earlier, but it doesn’t matter. I want to share my talents and be able to touch as many people as possible. The new collective book, Strange Fruit, is already doing that in a multitude of ways and I’m proud.

As far as the one-word concept, I don’t think I could ever capture the whole of me in one word. I am young and free-spirited. My dreams can change in the course of one day. I simply want to do as much as I can in order to get on the right path.

It’s time to spread myself, but hopefully not too thin.

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About lovecrescendo

25. Published poet. Living in truth.
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